The Benefits of Asking “Why”

Join the Adults in the Deep End of the Pool

Where do you live? What do you do? What do you look like? The answers to these questions are only reflections of who you appear to be to the outside world. To move from shallow waters to the deeper end of the pool, the questions need to become more meaningful. Knowing why you think and feel as you do gives you access to information you can use to re-create your life.

You can dive deeper down through the layers of your thoughts, tendencies, and beliefs to gain a richer, deeper knowledge about yourself. These depths are only reached by following the initial questions with “Why?”

Example from the Social Self Awareness Questions Section

What types of people do you enjoy spending time with?
“Smart people.”

Why do you enjoy being with smart people?
“Because I enjoy searching for answers and if I’m with smart people, their answers are more helpful. I love to explore the world of ideas, perceptions, and the inner beliefs that create our feelings. I’m a curious person, so it’s just more fun when I’m with someone who is curious too.”

Why is it more fun when they are curious?
“Well, what first popped into my head was how it feels when I spend time with someone who’s NOT curious. My father used to say “You think too much.” And some people have called me “heavy”. It seems my constant questioning is a little annoying to them. Apparently, they don’t care and I assume they wonder why I care. When I’m with someone who’s curious, too, it’s like they ‘get’ me. I feel understood and appreciated. We egg each other on...inspiring each other to deeper understanding. It’s just so much fun!”

What about that is fun to you?
“It has all the stuff I like—open-minded people exploring and sharing ideas. And most of the time we laugh a lot!”

So what type of people do you enjoy spending time with?
Smart
Curious
Open-minded
Similar sense of humor

Why?
I get to discuss the topics I love.
I learn more.
I feel understood and appreciated.
I love to laugh. 

The further you go, the more insight you gain. A vague idea is only marginally useful. You want to know specifically who you are and the motivation behind your desires. It will take time, but if you keep probing, the answers will benefit you for a lifetime. Now, onto the tips...

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Find out who you are and do it on purpose.

- Dolly Parton

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world ... as in being able to remake ourselves.

- Mahatma Gandhi