I recently reconnected with my college sweetheart from over 20 years. We’re both married now and have families. He was my first everything and now that I reconnected with him, I cannot seem to stop thinking about him. I constantly await for his text and phone calls and rejoice in hearing him say how he regrets our relationship. He travelled outside of the country recently for about 10 days and not hearing from him during that time was intoxicating. I am now a career woman and this practice has been interfering with my professional life. I know this is not going to go anywhere … I would not want it to go anywhere. I love my husband and would never want to lose his trust. I want to be able to find the courage to let go of these feelings and get my life back. I block and unblock his phone intermittently … I’m in a trance.
A girl I felt I could die for at univ 20 years ago (it was a ferociously intense love for one another, but I had feelings for her that weren’t reciprocated) … she got back in touch over FB a few weeks ago, ironically just weeks after I’d had counselling to get her finally out of my head/heart … anyway talking with her, (she’s married, four children, I’m married), all cordial little chats, but it brought it all back. *groan*. In the end I asked her to block me, and she did. Cannot think of anything else, even stupid conversations she may ever have with her children … but my head says ‘never, never, never, she’s gone…’ for God’s sake, we’ve not been there for one another for 20 years, and I know it.
It’s amazing how powerfully these things can affect and invade the mind.
I’ve been with my wife 9 years and I have the feeling of infatuation constantly. Can’t shake it….she is intoxicating…. and addiction of some kind. I need to see a professional…. see if this is a problem that needs to be addressed. I’m not jealous nor am I needy. I am just high when we are together…. which is all the time. We are each others best friend.
Doesn’t sound like infatuation to me. Sounds like love!
I checked every box except 1..
Thank You for this blog!
I wanted to know the differences between crazy and infatuation. I am a much older woman and I find myself getting nervous when I see this person. No words have ever been spoken. I feel very insecure and stupid whenever I know he is around. I constantly think about him. When we cross path I am speechless.
I totally ignored him because I tell myself I must be lonely and is over thinking things.
because of your blog I can understand these feelings better.
After a month of knowing him,Its now been 6 months i have been this very deep feelings for my boss…i wasnt settled at all till i had to tell him just last week..he listened to to me nicely n promised to help me overcome my fears…..he promised to be there for me whenever i needed him….he is much younger than me n not married but in a relationship i’ve separated from my husband over 5yrs ago….n i have been single but living with my kids since then…am not settled at heart n mind…i feel hurt when this guy doesn’t check up on me…whenever i hear my phone buzzing or calling…i always freak n become anxious hoping it is him…am soon yet to start working with him in the same station for a long period……am almost going into depression…am i i infatuated?pliz help me!
Oh whow, I took the quiz and ticked almost every box. I’m definitely infatuated with my boyfriend, and here I was thinking it was true love. It physically hurts when he’s not here (we’re sort of long distance, I see him once every other week) and I need more and more from him to keep being happy. It’s not fair to him but I really feel like he could be right for me so I don’t want my infatuation to break us up How do you overcome it when you’re still in a relationship with the other person?
With time infatuation will either evolve into real love or the relationship will end. Infatuation usually can’t be maintained for more than a few years. But in your case, only seeing him every other week, it could last longer. What stops infatuation is the amount of time spent together, the number of challenges worked through, and the degree of honesty (especially on the things you don’t like about each other). Infatuation is like a dream. It’s having a relationship with a fantasy in your mind verses the actual person.
Sigh. I’m infatuated with my boss. He’s much older than I AND married.. so it’s like, in my mind, I know for a fact that whatever it is that we have (or I think we have) isn’t going anywhere. But the “high” from the first 3-5 days that I received once I finally realized how much I admired him were phenomenal. The drug/infatuation comparison is spot on. It’s dying down now and I’m On the verge of being depressed if I dont make some kind of contact with him. Be it a text, call, or we run into eachother! It sucks. And as much as I LOVED the high; I’m ready to come down (minus the withdrawls)
Ouch, I did the test and there were only a couple I didn’t tick! Worse for me is that she works for me, so see her everyday. She’s married. I was until a year ago. She reciprocated our ‘relationship’ (nothing physical has ever happened) for 6 months, but has now gone cold. We agreed if we wanted to stop we’d talk about it. I think she’s decided not to take that option. Used to enjoy work, don’t anymore. Struggling big time
Thank you for sharing as this blog has become very therapeutic. My experience was almost “paranoia” whenever we were apart. In addition to the checklist, I would check my phone every 5mins, every time my phone alerts, I would hope it is from her. If I don’t hear from her in a while (ranging from 1 hr to 10 hrs), I would have thoughts that she was cheating or doing something bad. Wishing if only I had spycam and access to her email, txt, messenger, etc. I would overanalyze almost every message, trying to gauge how much she really loves and misses me. I would do destructive things like delete her contact and tell myself, I will never contact her, only to get a “high” feeling when she did contact me. It took me almost 6 months to deal with my destructive behavior. I’m happy to report that she and I have a healthy relationship and I confesses my situation with her. I recently saw a comedic movie featuring this exact thing, “Lovesick” with Matt Leblanc.
I may be feeling infatuation. I’ve know this beautiful girl for a little over a month and in the past two weeks we have been inseparable. We connect on so many levels and have a lot in common it seems like the real deal to me. Could this be a blossoming love or just infatuation?
Take the quiz!
This article is so true. The thing that drives me crazy is the paranoid feeling. I am constantly checking my phone to see if she has txt, msg’ed or called me like every 5 mins. If she doesn’t, I have thoughts she is doing something bad even though I know she isn’t. I hate feeling so insecure.
Hi this site really helped me I am so obsessed with my girlfriend like wanting to see her and talk to her every minute but now im helped..Thank you
Just wondering… is infatuation something that happens to younger people more often or is it as common in older people? and more often is it experienced by females or males? ..
Becoming infatuated can happen at any age. It happens less often to older people because they have experienced it before and know it’s not real love.
Ive been trying to kick the habit I have of thinking about this girl… shes much younger than me but she was my first proper relationship and I was hers. Problem is I am best friends with her brothers, speak to them daily and see her nearly as much. I managed to go cold turkey and downright go full bastard and block her out of my life (she would be on and off about our relationship, pulling away a lot), she always has another bf. This past new years there was a party at her place and she got drunk and spent the night cuddling me. She had a bf at the time (he wasnt there) and later went on to say that she was sorry, it should never have happened and it was a mistake. I feel like a druggy who constantly walks past a vaporized version of my drug daily. This has been 2 years of time I will not get back, and it does not seem to be over. Thanks for the heads up though, ticking every checkbox might be enough of a worry to kick this
Reading this really inspire me. It’s exactly what I feel, admiring someone like needing addictive, always wanting more but never enough. And now I know what my best friends always tell are true. Thankyou
I am currently experiencing infatuation and it is completely destroying me, I am obseessed with that person but I cant seem to avoid them. everytime I try to distance myself I go into a state of extreme depression which is like hell for me, I feel like I’m going insane and I do stuff I never thought I would do and I just feel disgusted with myself.
Seriously true… well I’m very much obsessed with a guy that gives me a lot of pain when he avoids me. It bothers me even more when i think he doesn’t even caring to bother about me …
Yah, now I realize that it was just the DOPAMINE which controlled me…now i m gonna control my brain and get over dis crazy obsession for him!!!
Thank you for this information. I have been involved with a guy from my younger years that I have always been interested in. He is about 4 yrs younger then me and I just did not know if it was a good decision to spend my time on him. Reading this information clarified my thoughts and now I know what I need to do thank you!
Good day! This post could not be written any better!
Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept
chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.
Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
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