In my article about meditation I referred to myself as “absolutely perfect”. I want to clarify this statement because I don’t mean it in the conventional sense. I’m no angel!
For 40 years I tried what most people do; attempted to make myself a better person by beating myself up when I did something “stupid” or lacking in character. But no matter how severe the beatings, how heavy the guilt trip or how deep the shame, none of it worked.
40 years! You can’t say I didn’t give it a thorough testing. The only result was negativity, a judgmental attitude, pain, and if the internal flogging lasted too long, depression.
Creating new perspectives that may differ from traditional social norms is one of my life purposes. I needed a better approach. I came up with “I am absolutely perfect just the way I am.”
This means I am perfect even when I…
- Run into the corner of the desk resulting in a bruise the size of Texas.
- Purchase an airline ticket leaving the wrong day resulting in money spent on extra nights in a creepy, airport hotel room.
- Misspell a wurd.
- Numb myself out by playing Blitz on my iPad for 4 hours.
- Eat a ginormous box of Junior Mints in one sitting.
- Cheat on my husband.
- Don’t respond to friend’s texts or emails.
- Have no idea how to fix technical issues on my client’s website, even though “technically”, that is part of my job.
- Set up the DVR wrong and miss my favorite program.
- Conveniently forget to do something I don’t want to do but needs to be done.
- Don’t list certain behaviors because I can’t imagine how they’re perfect just yet.
See how perfect I am? A thing of beauty.
Even if I mislead someone into thinking I’m someone I’m not, in that moment, I am being my (lying) self. That’s me. I lie sometimes. It happens less and less often, but when it does. I am being perfectly me.
Payoffs for Using / Adopting this Perspective:
- Accepting where I am now is a more effective tool in helping me become who I want to be.
- Failure is not possible. It’s all about awareness, learning and moving forward.
- Personal growth without pain. Yippee!
- It creates opportunities for me to see how my brain works, what beliefs still drive me, and how the “mistake” is beneficial to my growth.
Should you adopt this new perspective for yourself? I part of me wants to say “hell yes you should” but I know you will choose whatever is perfect for you.
Way to go. You made the perfect choice!